The Biggest Mistake Made by Single Mormons Results (part 2 of 2)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
At long last, it is finished! Welcome back to the second half of the Biggest Mistake Made by Single Mormons survey results. This article contains a breakdown of the top five most popular results to the questions “what is the biggest mistake made by single Mormon men?” and “what is the biggest mistake made by single Mormon women?” If you haven’t seen the first half, with the tenth through sixth most popular results, click here first. Otherwise, read on.
Top 10 Responses: Numbers 5 Through 1
5. Looking Too Far Ahead/Reading Too Much In
Nearly 15% of the responses held that the biggest mistake made by single Mormons was “looking beyond the mark” by attempting to plan out their eternity before they’ve actually managed to complete a first date. Of those who mentioned it, 90% ascribed this mistake to women, while only 30% saw it in men (and 20% saw it as a problem for both sexes).
This mistake came in a couple of flavors. The standard one went something like this single woman’s response: “(Women) jump from ‘A’ to ‘Z’ in one date, or before. We’re taught all growing up in YW that we have to be on the lookout for Mr. Right and we’re even asked to make lists of the characteristics of said Mr. Right. So, often, instead of going out on a date just to have fun and get to know a person better, many women are trying to figure out if they can see themselves w/ that person for eternity. That’s too much stress for pre- or first dates. Yikes!” Another single woman applied the same answer to both men and women: “Thinking too much too soon. Most guys are afraid a girl will be thinking of marriage on the first date, and here’s no surprise, girls think guys are thinking the same thing and it freaks both sides out. No one wants to consider a first date an actual commitment. The first date, heck, the first few dates are just to get to know one another and see if you’re even compatible. So chill out and just get to know as many potentials as possible.”
There seemed to be a subset of this jump from A to Z problem that stuck more to the notion of “over-analyzing.” One single woman described it like this: “(Women) over analyze too much – always looking at things the way we hope they are.” Another single woman put it like this: “Over-analyzing every little detail of interaction with men and creating a relationship (in our mind) after one date, conversation, etc.”
| male | female |
|---|---|
| 33.33% | 66.67% |
| married | single |
| 0% | 100% |
| lds | non-lds |
| 100% | 0% |
| male | female |
|---|---|
| 0% | 100% |
| married | single |
| 20% | 80% |
| lds | non-lds |
| 100% | 0% |
When you over-analyze, it doesn’t mean you’re thinking too much. It means that at some point in your thinking you have allowed some logical flaw or mistaken assumption to enter in, and that your conclusions have therefore become faulty. I think that when you meet someone, you’re very prone to start adding assumptions about them to your thinking. You don’t know everything about them, so you fill in the blanks from imagination. You can get into a problem when you learn things about the person that don’t align well with what you’ve imagined. If you like the fantasy version more than the reality, you might be tempted to believe the fantasy over the reality. With some deft mental gymnastics, you can over-analyze your way into convincing yourself of just about anything.
Posted in Love and Sex, Philosophy, Religion | 13 Comments »
